Create the life you desire with therapy designed for queer and non-monogamous lives.
Therapy Approaches
Explore the kind of therapy that feels most supportive for you.
Ketamine-Assisted Therapy
A guided ketamine therapy experience that eases stuck patterns, opens new pathways, and supports relief, insight, and reconnection for you and/or your relationship(s). If talk therapy has stalled, if jealousy or shame keeps looping, or if numbness and minority stress make intimacy hard, KAP could be the right fit for you. Ketamine-Assisted Therapy at Courageous You pairs low-dose medicine sessions with structured preparation and integration so change sticks in your daily life and in your relationships. You can do this work solo, with a partner, or across your entire polycule.
Somatic EMDR Therapy
If you are looking for a more body-centered path to healing, Somatic EMDR therapy could be an aligned fit. This therapy pairs EMDR’s structured trauma reprocessing with gentle somatic tools like breath, tapping, and movements to support your nervous system and deepen full-body integration. It is especially helpful if you live with chronic stress, dissociation, or trauma that feels stuck in your body. You can fold Somatic EMDR into your ongoing therapy or choose a focused series, paced to your goals and readiness.
Relationship Therapy
Your relationships deserve care that fits your unique life and relationship structures. Being queer, non-monogamous, and neurodivergent myself, I know how vital it is to have therapy spaces that actually “get it.” Together we will build communication that lands, repair that lasts, and intimacy that feels safer and more joyful. We will name power, consent, and capacity and then co-create agreements that actually fit you and your network of care. This is a space where you don’t have to shrink, simplify, or explain the validity of your relationship. All of you is welcome here.
Individual Psychotherapy
You deserve a steady place to come home to yourself. Individual therapy helps you sort overwhelm, clarify identity and transitions, and process trauma while building real tools for your body and mind. I work especially with non-monogamous, queer, trans, non-binary, kinky, and/or neurodivergent folks, and I share most of these identities myself, pairing lived experience with strong clinical training so you do not have to translate. We move at your pace and keep sessions focused on what matters to you.
Therapy Intensives
Need focused support without waiting weeks between sessions? Virtual therapy intensives give you a spacious block to go deep on what matters most. You can meet solo, with a partner, or with your whole polycule in extended 3-hour sessions. We set clear goals and work through stuck patterns, big transitions, or clarity around identity, boundaries, and connection with nervous system aware pacing. Intensives are available for Somatic EMDR, relationship therapy, or ketamine-assisted therapy, with prep and integration as needed.
Therapy Retreats
Step away from daily life and into a space designed just for your healing. These private therapy retreats in Chelem, Mexico offer you and/or your partner(s) the chance to slow down, reconnect, and go deeper in a beautiful, supportive setting. Each 3-day retreat includes over 15 hours of personalized therapy, integration support, and time to rest and reflect. Whether you’re working through a specific challenge or seeking clarity in your relationships, this immersive experience is tailored to your needs and identities.
Coaching
You deserve care that travels with you across states, borders, and life transitions. Coaching offers a flexible space to explore identity, relationships, embodiment, and change. I work with folks who are non-monogamous, queer, trans, neurodivergent, and/or integrating psychedelic experiences, supporting you in building practices that feel aligned and sustainable. Coaching is available in all 50 U.S. states and internationally through my partner practice.
Stuff you’re probably wondering
(that I can definitely help with)
How do I build queer community when the world is on fire?
How do we align on limits, negotiation, and aftercare across partners so kink stays safe and consensual?
What do I do when jealousy shows up?
How do I handle it when my metamour and I do not click?
How can we set agreements that fit each person’s capacity and consent?
How do I date in queer community without burning out?
How can we set routines, reminders, and check-ins that work for AuDHD brains?
How do I unlearn mononormative relationship scripts?
How do we repair after a broken agreement and rebuild trust?
How do I explain my sensory needs to new partners?
How do we design safer sex protocols everyone feels good about?
Meet Sarah Wolfer
Founder of Courageous You
I am queer, non-monogamous, neurodivergent, and kinky, just like you! I began practicing non-monogamy in 2010 and have grown my relationship skills both in real life and in the therapy room. I have made mistakes, learned repair, and built capacity so you do not have to repeat the same mistakes that I did.
I am also a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with 13+ years of post-grad experience and advanced training in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, Somatic EMDR therapy, the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couple's Therapy, and other healing modalities.
I created Courageous You because too many of us were asked to translate ourselves in therapy rooms that were not built for us. My practice is rooted in the belief that healing doesn’t require shrinking, and that therapy should be a liberatory space, one that honors your autonomy, your relationships, and your whole self.
My Style:
📣 Supportive ✅ Compassionate 🤝 Collaborative
Feautured in
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Frequently Asked Questions
What’s different about therapy with you compared to other therapists?
Therapy with me is where clinical expertise meets lived experience. I bring over a decade of work as a licensed psychotherapist, advanced training in relationship therapy, Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and Somatic EMDR Therapy, plus my own lived experience as a queer, non-monogamous, kinky, and neurodivergent human. That means I don’t just “accept” your identity and relationships; I understand them from the inside out.
I work with individuals, couples, and entire polycules, using approaches that fit your needs: talk therapy to untangle old patterns, somatic practices to release what your body has been carrying, EMDR to process stuck trauma, and psychedelic-assisted work to help you open to new insights. In polycule or multi-partner work, I hold space for the entire network, making sure every voice is heard and agreements are built with equity, care, and consent.
What if I’ve had bad experiences with therapy before?
You’re not alone. Many of my clients come in with stories of past therapy that felt invalidating, pathologizing, or just not a good fit, especially if they’re queer, trans, non-monogamous, kinky, or neurodivergent. Those experiences can make it hard to trust the process again. From day one, we’ll name that history and talk openly about what worked, what didn’t, and what you need this time to feel safe enough to do the work you want to do. I don’t take a “therapist knows best” approach; therapy with me is collaborative, consent-based, and shaped by your feedback. We’ll go at your pace, build trust intentionally, and make adjustments along the way so you don’t have to mask or shrink parts of yourself.
Do you only work with non-monogamous clients, or do you see monogamous people too?
Yes. I specialize in working with non-monogamous clients, but I also see monogamous folks; especially those who are queer, neurodivergent, kinky, or exploring identity and relationship shifts. What matters most is that we can work together from a place of curiosity, consent, and respect for who you are and how you love.
What should I expect in our first session?
Our first session is about getting to know you and what’s bringing you in; no pressure to have it all figured out. We’ll talk about your goals, what’s been working (and not working), and how your identities and relationships shape your life. You’ll have space to share at your own pace while I ask questions to understand your needs. We might map out your relationship network, discuss patterns you’ve noticed, or identify a first step toward change. By the end, you’ll have a sense of what working together will feel like and some initial tools or insights to take with you.
Do you offer online therapy, and what states are you licensed in?
Yes. All my therapy sessions are online so you can meet from your home, office, or anywhere you feel comfortable. I’m licensed in Washington, Idaho, and Florida, and can work with clients located in those states. If you’re outside those areas, I also offer coaching services for folks anywhere in the world. Head to CourageousYouCoaching.com to check out my global coaching services.
What are your rates?
My standard rates are:
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Individual therapy: $200 for 50 minutes
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Relationship or polycule therapy: $225 for 50 minutes
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Extended sessions: $350 for 90 minutes
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Intensives: $595 for 3 hours
I don’t accept insurance directly, but I provide superbills (itemized receipts) you can submit to your insurance company. Many clients receive partial reimbursement this way, and we offer both worksheets and administrative support to make the process smoother.
I also hold a limited number of sliding scale spots for clients who need reduced fees. Please reach out if you’d like to see if one is available.
How do I know if you’re the right therapist for me?
Research shows the number one factor in whether therapy works isn’t the technique, it’s the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist. That’s why we’ll start building trust and connection from our very first conversation. I could be a good fit for you if you want a therapist who is unapologetically affirming of queer, trans, non-monogamous, kinky, and neurodivergent identities; who blends clinical expertise with lived experience; and who’s skilled in approaches ranging from talk therapy to Somatic EMDR Therapy, Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and full-network polycule sessions. I name power dynamics, invite curiosity, and hold space for both the hard and joyful parts of change.
I offer free 20-minute consultations so we can meet, talk about what you’re looking for, and see if working together feels like a good match. My goal is that you find a therapist who feels right for you, whether that’s me or someone else I can help you connect with.
Do you work with clients exploring identity or gender transitions?
Yes. I work with clients at every stage of identity and gender exploration, whether you’re questioning, newly out, years into living as your authentic self, or somewhere in between. As a non-binary therapist, I bring both lived experience and professional training to this work, which means I understand the emotional, relational, and practical realities from the inside out. We can work on clarifying your identity, navigating coming out in personal or professional spaces, building supportive relationships, and processing any grief, joy, or mixed feelings that arise. If you’re considering or moving through a gender transition, I can help you explore options, connect with affirming resources, and address the relational, emotional, and logistical parts of that journey.
How do you approach relationship therapy, and what kinds of relationships do you work with?
I work with all kinds of relationships from queer couples, mixed-neurotype partnerships, non-monogamous and consciously monogamous dynamics, kink-involved relationships, entire polycules, metamour pairs, co-parents, queerplatonic partners, and chosen family networks. If it’s a relationship that matters to you, it’s welcome in my therapy room.
I’m trained in the Gottman Method (Level 1 and 2) as well as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Level 1 with Dr. Sue Johnson) and integrate those evidence-based frameworks with trauma-informed practices. Every session is filtered through a lens that’s queer, non-monogamy, neurodivergence, and kink-aware; adjusting to the needs and identities of the people in the room. I combine professional training with lived experience in these communities, which means our work is rooted in both skill and genuine understanding.
In practice, relationship therapy with me can feel spacious, curious, and real. We might map your relationship network, slow down heated moments so everyone feels heard, build skills for repair and trust, or use somatic tools to regulate your nervous systems during hard conversations. We’ll look at how power, identity, consent, and communication shape your dynamic, and work together to create agreements and patterns that actually fit your lives.